been asleep for awhile

I haven’t written anything of any real significance for awhile now, I’ve noticed. There really hasn’t been any real reason other than the amount of time I am giving to other projects. However, I am beginning to find that these other projects are slowly becoming idols in my life. As I began the marriage process, a lot of things were sacrificed (rightfully, if I understand the sacrament properly, though I hold no claims to). One thing I noticed that I sacrificed, maybe improperly, was my outlet of writing. At the time I gave it up, I was considering writing a book. Then I found out the publisher I was waiting on wasn’t as excited as I would hope, and things just never picked back up after that. My pen and paper (well, my fingers and keyboard actually), dried up.

I suppose a bit of mourning is in place. I miss sitting in coffee shops listening to super-evangelical music, being in my own little world, and writing for hours (actually having to delete much of what was written to be considerate of friends with shorter attention spans). I miss bobbing my head and tapping my feet to the music, not even realizing I just typed a whole line without looking at my fingers (almost not hunting and pecking!). After some intermittent discernment, I decided I want to get back to that. It was therapeutic. So here is what I hope to commit to, consider practices of your own if you’re feeling less than in touch with yourself.

1. Computer celibacy. That’s right, taking some time to get away from my computer actually makes me want to get back to it in a more holistic way. I don’t hold any weird ideas of salvation springing forth from my computer screen, but it has been a good way to work out my thoughts in the past. Plus, I need to read more, I have been feeling intellectually sluggish.
2. Consumer celibacy. Buying crap is not made to make us feel good; commercials and advertising only fabricate that feeling in us. I think we are supposed to feel more qualitative satisfaction from actually doing work, not spending loot. On a similar note, jobs don’t save us and spending money (despite the president’s consistent urging) wont save the economy; it only keeps it (and us) on life support. I could go on about such parasitic lifestyles and living lives of economic dependency, but that might be for another blog.
3. Communicative indulgence. I want to go off the chart with catching up with friends and family. Too much has gotten in the way of actually communicating with people I care about. Co-dependency is ok, and I want to undo our culture’s insistence that we are all islands and are completely self sustaining. I tried that. It sux, trust me.

To set this in motion, I am trying to root it in an ancient practice that I have only occasionally taken seriously. Every seventh day, I hope to set my laptop down for 24 hours, leave my wallet at home, and pick up my cell phone and a good book. It became apparent to me that I have recently been so focused on one commandment (not killing), that I have taken another (keeping a holy day) for granted. Jews observe the Sabbath (accurately, I believe) from nightfall on Friday to sundown on Saturday. I’m gonna try to give that a shot for a bit. It may mean I have to get creative on Friday nights, but with any luck, I can start rejuvenate some of those creative juices in the process.

One thought on “been asleep for awhile

  1. that sounds like an excellent idea. I may very well try it myself. I’m cassandra, I went to school with tracey at JBC. you guys are doing awesome things in your life together. I am trying to make some radical changes in my own life and I appreciate the fact that there are others out there who think like I do. keep writing, I like to read about it!

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