Windows to the Soul

When I fall in love with someone; woman, man, child (those who know agape know how I can love a man), it starts in the eyes. Behind those mysterious orbs I find sweetness; an innocence that is profound beyond words. I am a believer that the eyes are the windows to the soul; when I look into anyone’s eyes, I cannot hate them, I cannot fear them, it is all I can do to melt into a feeling of absolute compassion. I am no better than they are, no matter what we have each done. No sinner is greater than another, no saint less than another. In Christ we are all like children; despite age, vocation, experience, or accomplishment. I imagine the Father surrounded by little babies, each wandering around aimlessly, so innocent that they do not know even their own purpose. He loves them just as He does those who know the path He has given them. Is it pleasing to Him that the understanding ones to think more of themselves? No, it would be logical to assume they would be even more humble, lest they forget when they too were blind. When the paths of two such toddlers meet; one blind, the other illumined, is it the latter’s place to admonish the other, to thank the Father for their own blessing and feel superior to the other? No, it is to share that light with their brethren, to take them gently by the hand and lead them lovingly and gratefully to the Father, to receive their own enlightenment, to share in this gift of Grace.

Someone asked me recently; “Who is this God? I don’t get it!” I made my feeble attempt to put into words the God that took pity on me in depths of my own sinfulness. God is (however cliché) a lot like the Matrix; I cannot tell her what the Father is, I can only show her who He is to me. Nonetheless, I went about trying to do just that, to reduce God into mere words. The closest I got was to tell her that we can understand the character of God only inasmuch as he allows us to grasp. Creation around us offers us some clues, but not a complete picture. For example; the perfect balance of nature might reflect His intricacy, the very essence of the seasons may show us His constancy, and the breathtaking beauty of a place like Hawaii may reveal His magnificence. He is everywhere around us in the sense that His entire creation comes from Him. Imagine an anonymous reader who has never met me. This reader would quickly understand that I believe in nonviolence, that I am a Christian and a soldier, or that I love to write. Even more so, that reader may develop a sense of my very character through my writings; they might say I am humble or arrogant, informed or ignorant, understanding or unsympathetic. Having never before met me, assuming that I am honest in what I write, that person could very reliably say they know what kind of person I am. On the same token, we know bits and pieces about the sovereign God of Heaven. We see His grace, majesty, and omnipotence everyday in the people around us, the interactions we have with one another, even the weather. With these clues, we begin to shape our own understanding of God.

The error some make is that they see the pain and suffering in the world and attribute it to God. They see a terminally ill grandmother dying of lung cancer, a horrible car crash that kills an entire family, or a baby born addicted to narcotics. Sin did not stem from God, freewill did. Without it, we would be nothing more than robots incapable of true love. Another soldier once relayed a beautiful story to me about how he returned to God after an extended absence. He turned away after a close friend died in a car accident. Like countless others before him, he asked our Father “where were you then?” With that, he went on to tell me how he slowly began to grow older and realize that “God did not put the bottle of alcohol in my friend’s hand,” but that it was a choice he made without God.

Sin erupts from the destructive choices humans make. Sin is man-made, not God-made. All that is dark and foreboding in this world stems from a few compromises too many made by men and women who want something for themselves that they do not see God granting; fame, money, power, status. The Jesus I read about died ashamed and rejected because He did not want anything but what God wanted for Him. He was homeless and poor because He was happy being in God’s good graces and not desiring anything more. He rejected material gain and social title, accepting the ‘burden’ of servitude. He did not come to be served, but to serve; to give everything to God by giving to the broken, blind individuals around Him.

Which brings me full circle, back to eyes. It is behind the pupils of every person I meet that I find God. He is right there, just as He is in the waves, the wind, and the moon. I see Him through the beauty of His creation, both organic or inert. It is in the eyes that I take the greatest joy in gazing because Man is much more prized than any other created thing that He made. The entire heavens rejoice when just one of us turns our backs on the world and it’s promises and return home to receive all the validation we ever need; acceptance of His unconditional grace and love.

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